Thank You in German – How to Tease a German Guy

Thank You in German – How to Tease a German Guy

It’s rather easy to annoy a German guy if you really want to. Of course, I assume that all my readers are peaceful people who only want to live in harmony with their fellow men. But everybody knows this situation: You’re talking to somebody and after a while, you notice that your conversational partner is a dork who gives you a really hard time. So you just try to be polite and say Thank You in German…

At this point, you decide to pay him back and annoy him a little bit. If he’s German, the odds are rather high that you succeed. There’s this guy, Rene (34), who is from Jena, Germany. He came to America some 9 years ago. You would know he’s a computer guy, but then again, you’ll find out soon enough.

He makes a living with software development but and software testing. In English! He’s the guy that’s trying software before your car has it or before you can even buy it at Best Buy. He makes sure it works before you can use it. Some years ago, he started to work for this testing company. This is what I learned from him. Here are my (so actually his) eight ultimate ways to tease a German:

    1. If you’re at the bar, order “One beer, please. But not that cold, if possible!” After you got your beer, stir it violently and say that you couldn’t endure carbonated drinks at all. Well, they know you’re German when…
    2. Try to focus your conversation on German music and ask casually: ”Hey, what about the ‘Eurovision Song Contest‘? Is it true that Germany normally gets no points from its neighbor countries?”
    3. Ask: ”Is it true that the number of pets is rising while fewer children are being born in Germany each year?”
    4. Proclaim that you’re in favor of a general speed limit of 100 km/h on German highways to improve road safety and spare the environment.
    5. Sticking to the car topic, you should bitch about people who use to wash their cars by hand every Saturday.
    6. Talking about sports, proclaim that soccer is a primitive game for primitive people. (This also works perfectly with Italiens, French and of course Britons.)
    7. Assure that you met the smartest Germans at El Arenal’s “Ballermann 6“ (maybe it’s all about a German’s idea of Germans).
    8. Say that it’s ok for you that German top-managers make more money in one month than most people in five years since it’s really a tough job to dismiss so many employees each day.

    If you make it through point eight without a fist in your face, your vis-à-vis is either deaf or no real German. If you like, you might carry out a test, but you will have to bear the consequences…

    Ban On The World’s Biggest Butt

    Germans seem to be passionate about public toilets (no wonder with all that food that they’re eating today from American origin…). Some time ago I already posted about a ‘loo deluxe‘, and now such a facility has made it into the news again. It started with a fancy idea and ended with a debacle.

    Plochingen is a small city in southwest Germany. Eugen Beck is Plochingen’s mayor and seems to love individual solutions. One day Eugen Beck decided to build a new public toilet. – But none of these boring and unimposing buildings one can find everywhere. No! It had to be something special. So he decided to engage the French cartoonist Tomi Ungerer and commissioned a design for a fancy toilet building.

    Well, the result of Ungerer’s efforts was really unorthodox: It was a square-cut building with a huge pink dome, shaped like butt cheeks. Above the entrance, there was a big writing that said: “Übung macht den Meister” (Practice makes perfect as it does also with learning German). Speaking German is just plain “Funvergnügen” as they say at Rufus King, an International Wisconsin Public High School in Milwaukee.

    The first who complained about the suggestion were Plochingen’s Muslims. The pink butt (that was to be illuminated at night) reminded them of a mosque’s dome. Ungerer’s second suggestion, a cloud-shaped building with a ‘butt roof’, had to be rejected due to the building’s intended location – vis-à-vis a church.

    Well, they say that everything is bigger in America and there are many typical German influences here, but the Germans also know about size and big…the planning is still going on…


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